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Whether the first impression is in the photos you select for your profile, how you describe yourself, or the first email you write, taking time to make the best first impression is important.

For this discussion refers to your first message in online dating.

If you’ve been frustrated with your online dating experience, click here and I’ll help you change your tune.

How important is it to write a good online dating first email?

Especially when it comes to men trying to write to women.

For all the talk about “The End of Men” and how gender roles have been obliterated and women can write to men first, blahblahblah, here’s what ACTUALLY happened after four months: • The women as a group received over 20 times more messages than the men.

At the current rate it would take the most popular man 2.3 years to fill up his. Well, you’ve seen this a few times before:“Most men compliment the attractive women a lot, they make reference to something in the woman’s profile (you would not believe how many times men mentioned the party tricks and ‘Arrow’ the cheetah from the generic profile I wrote), or they ask a general question about travel or something equally boring.” What SHOULD he write instead? It feels different, because it feels more like I’m rejecting a person, well, personally, rather than saying they aren’t the right fit or we had more qualified applicants. I do indeed think the etiquette for rejection in different in these two situations: It’s much more acceptable not to reply to messages from would-be suitors on online dating sites than it is for employers not to reply to job applicants.I also think I would get more pushback of the kind hiring managers sometimes get when we reject an applicant. Part of it is just a difference in conventions — the professional conventions for hiring are different than the conventions for online dating.In case it’s not obvious: Demonstrate creativity, intelligence and a great sense of humour • Be totally different to anything she may have received before • Be obviously unique and not a cut-and-paste job • Show that I’ve read her profile and absorbed facts about her • Not be needy!I have dedicated an entire volume of my bestselling audio series, Finding the One Online to how to write emails just like this.

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